Adventures of a Good Guy

The title of this post seems extra funny to me because I recently watched the movie Never Die Alone.

I’ve been doing some thinking. This post may seem really obvious, but it’s sometimes the most obvious things that we miss.

Never dine alone.
I didn’t talk much during food. I personally thought and still think that having lunch with someone is a horrible way of getting to know someone. You’re eating, they’re eating. There’s awkward silences, and not much information is exchanged. So why is eating with someone so important? Because it does so many things. It’s spending time with them. This makes them more comfortable with you, and get to know you better, even if it’s slowly. You show them what it’s like to live life with you, since eating is a part of that life.

How to make friends
First, you have to meet the person. Social skills handles this area wonderfully.

Social skills aren’t enough

Social skills lets you introduce yourself to people you want to get to know. It means you could go into a city not knowing anyone, and meet people to hang out with and have sex with if that’s what you want. But pure social skills, aren’t enough. You also have to spend time with people. Live life with them.

Making friends in school, 101
*Study with people.
When you’re studying together, it’s natural for you to eat together when lunch/dinner time comes. “Hey, I’m hungry, want to grab a bite?”. It’s also very easy to do other things. For example, while studying, you could say “Hey, I’m going to the campus gym sunday, you want to join me?”. It’s natural because they’re already studying with you and eating with you, might as well explore other activities as well.
*Eat with people.
Discuss plans for the night. “Hey, what’re you doing tonight?”. They’ll tell you their plans, and if they feel comfortable enough with you and see your value, they’ll feel comfortable inviting you along too.

Conclusion
So what’s the moral of this post? SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE. Social skills by themselves aren’t enough, a base to build upon it is important too. Sure, enough social skills can eventually make up for bad social lifestyle. But there’s decreasing marginal returns on increasing only one skill. As people say, a chain is only as good as its weakest link.